On Love

January's Small Moments

Snowy Day Snapshots

Snow started to fall on Thursday morning.  I realize that the rest of the country has been dealing with this for weeks now and it's no news flash--but snow just doesn't happen here.

For that reason, Portland completely shuts down at the first sign of the stuff.  This blizzard was no different.

It took me almost FOUR HOURS to make the commute home that afternoon (the usual is forty-five minutes).  Thank goodnesss for red wine. 

The rest of the (4-day thank you snow!) weekend has been spent on a snowy walk with Ryan, lunching with my best friend, reading my new book club book, netflixing in my PJs, delving into that Valentine's chocolate that was "for my co-workers" (oops!) and overdosing on tea and zinc to cure my cold.  

 

Being snowed in is not so bad (:

30

Ryan turned thirty at the end of January.  

He's been working so hard he barely noticed, but I wasn't willing to let the milestone pass without a bit of a celebration.  In between ambulance shifts at the Oregon coast Ryan spent a few days doing his favorite thing: fishing.  I joined him in Newport for the weekend where we ate our weight in crab, sampled Rogue Distillery's creations, enjoyed a delicious meal at our favorite seafood joint courtesy of Ryan's mom and soaked up all the rare January sunshine.

Cheers to thirty, my love!

How to Make a Marriage Last

By no means am I a marriage expert, but I've learned a few things since Ryan and I began life as a married couple nearly four and a half years ago.  

The biggest lesson for me about marriage: 

Don't sweat the small stuff, and pick your battles.  

This is a hard one for me, as I like to have the last word and have things just my way... 

But those things are not as important to me as happiness in my marriage, so I've learned to let the little things go, which I think is important.

On our wedding day we asked friends and family to share their advice to us as newlyweds.  Some of my favorite responses:

-Laugh a lot, love a lot, and lower your expectations.

-Tough times usually come--the perfect time to hold each other closer.

-Love is a verb, so do it.  It doesn't just happen.

(And my personal favorite:)

-Ryan, she is always right!!  Just nod your head and say, "Yes dear.'  Trust me on this one!

That brings me to this article my mom saved for me awhile back where couples who had been married for an extended period of time shared their own marriage advice.

How To Make a Marriage Last

1. Work hard. People who stay married for a long time make a conscious effort at working at their relationships. They place their commitment to each other as a higher priority than work, hobbies and even their children. They know that the best way to be a great parent is to be in a loving and long-lasting relationship.
2. Talk about things that matter. It’s so easy to waste time talking about routine matters of work, family or chores. Happy couples talk about their dreams, fears, hopes and fantasies. They share very private and personal feelings and thus stay emotionally engaged with their partner. With a psychological security based on trust and communication, these couples can truly be themselves and experience that amazing feeling of being safe and accepted in another’s presence.
3. Be nice. We all want to feel special, particularly from our lifelong partner. The experts have found that little things mean a lot in a relationship. Simple things such a genuine compliment, a thoughtful surprise and special attention during tough times really matter. They reflect a caring and concern that mean a lot more than flowers once a year.
4. Celebrate life. A colleague of mine left work early to take her husband out for dinner to celebrate his recent positive evaluation at work. I voiced some surprise at making such a big deal over such a routine event. My friend gently advised me that their family constantly searches out opportunities to notice and enjoy events that others may view as routine. Successful partners enjoy each other, and they actively look for ways to have fun. They are attentive to the small accomplishments of their partners.
5. Argue gently. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. Arguments about making, saving and spending money are the number one sources of tension between partners. Good couples don’t ignore such problems, but deal with them in a respectful way with lots of compromise and communication. They avoid bringing up past hurts but focus on coming up with acceptable solutions for both partners.
6. Fight boredom. So much of how we live our lives is due to routine and habit. After a while, it is natural to get bored by your partner and seek excitement elsewhere. Committed couples avoid that malaise by taking risks and trying new activities. This adds a vitality and excitement to your relationship and makes it more enjoyable to be around your partner.

Food for thought as many of us resolve to be better in 2014.  

My marriage and relationships are a high priority this year.  The older I get the more I continue to realize it's the people in our lives who matter most.

And also, I will continue to pick my battles and remember not to sweat the small stuff.

Way Back In December

Wow, how late am I?
Somehow it's already February(?!?!) and I have not yet posted photos from Christmas... Forgive me.  Here are some snapshots from the last month of the year.

.: Hannukah :.

.: Cutting down our Christmas trees :.


.: Christmas decor :.




.: Cocktails :.

.: A ten year anniversary :.

.: Date night at the art museum :.


.: Mom's birthday :.

.: Grandma turns 90 :.

.: Christmas Eve cookie decorating :.
 

.: Christmas Eve :.
{aka that night I got too close to a candle and singed some hair}

.: Christmas Day :.
{Christmas sweaters circa Christmas 2011 and yes, both mine and Ryan's are the same size}

.: Gift exchange with my girlfriends :.

{we share one of our "favorite thing" with everyone, Oprah style}

 

.: Day after Christmas with Ryan's fam :.

.: NYE dinner :.


December was a festive and relaxing way to end the year.  
2014 is off to a good start so far, with many unknowns and various changes on the horizon.  We will do what we always do, and make it a great year.
Hope your new year is off to a great start!